What happens when disappointment shows up?

When I launched my in person immersion experience SHINE: a cosmic activation in creativity, power, and transformation a few weeks ago, I fully expected to fill each of the twenty available spots within a short time.

I expected people to take me up on my early registration gifts and to be as excited to register and attend as I have felt enthused imagining and creating this container to gather together.

What has unfolded, however, is different from what I expected.

I received lots of encouraging emails and messages from people who told me the timing wasn’t right for them and they eagerly anticipate attending the NEXT one (I love how they are already calling into existence future opportunities!).

I received a handful from others communicating they were hoping to be able to work it out to come.

I received zero registrations.

Disappointment came knocking on my door along with a touch of despair and discouragement.

Thankfully, I recognize these visitors as signals I have my brand new choice before me.

And what I choose is to let more love in than I have before up until now.

Disappointment tells a story that says I have been separated from my appointment.

Not possible. I am always God appointed, God ordained, and God timed. Everything is working TOGETHER.

Despair tells a story that says I have been separated from my pair or my mission.

Not true. I am always one with God and on mission. My purposes are secure.

Discouragement tells story that says I have been separated from my faith and courage and have a weak heart.

Again…not accurate! I AM my faith and courage and my God heart is always within me full of strength and courage for my next steps.

I do acknowledge my feelings of fear and sad - fear I might not get to share my beautiful creation with the women I’ve imagined joining me and sad because I have so much to share and miracles to ignite may not get to at this time in the way I thought.

Shining is risky business. Shining doesn’t always have the outcome I expect or have envisioned. 

Shining invites me to

  • stretch and surrender,

  • recommit and be brand new, and

  • continue choosing to shine even if things unfold differently than I anticipated.

It seems counter-intuitive to tell you we still have not received any registrations for SHINE.

AND a big part of shining is transparency and honesty…no scarcity marketing strategy here. What is we DO have is lots of remembering we are in Divine Timing and everything is unfolding in Divine Order.

We are keeping our SHINE doors open for registration at the original investment of $2220 for ten more days (through October 8, 2023) and adjusting some of our own expectations. 

Whether anyone registers or not, Bethany and I are committed to attending our own event and going through our SHINE material, activities, activations, explorations, and expansions together.

Whether we are joined by others or not, SHINE is happening October 12-15 in Bellville, TX, and you can register to join us up until October 8th. 

We will still work with you on a payment plan if you require, so please…if you have a YES in your heart to join us, clear your calendar for October 12-15, click on the registration link below and register ASAP (investment remains $2220 and will NOT go up to $2440 on 10/1) or reply to this email with your request for payment plan information.

We believe where two or more are gathered, we experience the synergy of increased awareness and amplification of I AM in and through us in our midst. 

And if this is the first time you are hearing about SHINE, be sure to subscribe to my newsletter below where I am more likely keep you informed on events and other opportunities to join me. Also, I recently offered a free mini-immersion experience over on Facebook. You can catch the replays by requesting to join the group from shame to SHINE (<<click the link<<).

ALL LOVE! SHINE ON, dear ones!

A new thing

Lo, I am doing a new thing, now it springeth up,

Do ye not know it?

Yea I put in a wilderness a way,

In a desolate place ---- floods.

Isaiah 4319 YLT1898

bible.jpg

 This verse popped up on my phone this morning as the verse of the day. I recently installed the app to join a group in a daily study. I read my Bible daily, and I thought it would be nice to join in with others and share our thoughts.

If I am being honest, joining the group has shone a light on something that's been working in the background of my heart: self-protection.

In the past I would have called it introversion, just me being quiet and shy. Jesus is revealing to me, though, that it's a wall of self-protection that's trying to keep me safe from a variety of things like control (by others), error (theological), pain (relational), and being known (because what if you get to know me and find out you don’t like me or that I’m a fake). That wall stays up until I feel safe. That safety can come in a few ways for me...someone reaches out and notices me and draws me in, I see a need for something that I can contribute so I step in, or I sense a comradery or resonance with someone and let my guard down.

I am all for discernment. I believe that I have Holy Spirit leading and guiding me at all times. In this, however, I have been the one leading and guiding...using my own lens of past experiences to filter and determine how much of me is ok to be present with.

So in this group I joined, we read a Scripture passage or two daily plus a devotional and share what has stuck out in the readings. I have not been a fan of recent devotionals I've encountered...most of them seem trite and shallow and not really digging into the meat of the passage. This devotional has been pleasantly different and this is what shone the light on my self-protective tendencies because as I realized the gems that are in this morning liturgy, shame crept in and started shadowing the revelations I was receiving.

It started saying crazy things like, "well that's nice...it's something you should have already known. Why aren't you writing things like this?" Or, "you're a spiritual leader, for goodness’ sake. You have to find something deep and profound to say to serve others straight from the text of the Scripture. You don’t need a devotional."

Thankfully, I was aware of that little voice today and recognized that something wasn't quite right. The last couple of days I've just glossed over it and the emotions and moved on, not taking time to dial in to the disturbance in my heart. But this morning, this verse-of-the-day popped up and God shone His light on that place in my heart that's been hiding, probably for quite some time.

A "new thing" is a new thing. New. Different from what's been before. Experienced for the first time. And God has been speaking to me about the shifts and changes happening. It's not the first time this verse has been the object of my meditation. And it's becoming increasingly apparent that to enter into the "new thing," I have to be made new. Actually, He has already made me new. It's time for me to walk in and be alive in my full awareness of what that means and looks like in my daily life.

So for today it means I have awareness. I have awareness of a part of my heart that's been shielded and protected by a wall that no longer serves me and must be taken down. I'll do that through prayer, applying my essential oils to support me emotionally, physically, and spiritually in the process. I'll do it with graciousness and kindness to my tender heart and then I'll give that job back over to Jesus.

Isn't it interesting how God works in our lives? I stand amazed that a small "yes" on my part to enter into a study group became the pathway to a much deeper revelation than I was anticipating. It's so freeing to know that it's not all up to me. He is leading and guiding me every step of the way, and I can trust Him with my process always.

He is so faithful.