Actual photo of me preparing while this conversation happens in my head :-)
I recently hosted an event in my home.
In preparing, I recognized a subconscious thought saying, “My home has to be ‘perfect’.” Now instead of feeling anticipation and excitement about my guests arriving, fear and a bit of dread crept in.
I started noticing what required repairing – my focus went to our concrete floors we’ve had since 2018 when we ripped up our carpet the night after my dad’s service when we came home to our sweet dog grieving via diarrhea all over the living room floor, and my fear of being judged for how long we’ve had “no flooring” popped its head in to whisper all manner of things.
Who or what determines “perfect” though? A “perfect” cup of coffee for one is not for another.
Perfect is an illusion and distraction tempting us away from being present in our lives.
We can tend to busy ourselves with tasks, giving our energy to insignificant details, running at full speed, rushing around to get things done “just perfectly” to reach an elusive “perfect ______” (you fill in the blank).
Me allowing one of my guests to help with preparations. She is such a joy to get to know! I highly recommend accepting offers for help from guests.
When we get caught up in “perfect”, we miss (cancel, clear) the gift of our Presence in our now and, in my case, the moment I’ve been preparing for.
My small self’s “need for perfect” actually masks something deeper…am I perhaps afraid of how people will view me? Am I protecting myself with the exterior, from connecting myself with people intimately? Am I robbing myself of deep meaningful encounters while hiding behind a “perfect” façade?
So, I gave myself a moment to pause, get present to what I was actually feeling, and ask: “What is my purpose…my primary outcome for my event?”
My ease returned as I allowed my energy to focus on my outcome and WHY I was preparing, trusting my space would be just what my guests required.
Connection, security, and meaningful encounters are rarely achieved when “perfect” is the main goal. Instead, these happen when you and I can bring our full self into the present moment and trust Love supports us in feeling secure being seen.
My outcome for my gathering? Each woman experiences being seen, nurtured, in-couraged, loved, and fully accepted…and I got my outcome!
Tears flowed, wisdom shared, laughter heard, and breakthrough received.
My preparation started in me…I prepared by seeing me, nurturing me, in-couraging me, loving me, and accepting my space and me just exactly the way I am.
In the end, I let those things I judged at first as “imperfect” about my home be ok, and I make my new choice to allow them to be the container and the vehicle for the atmosphere of love and acceptance to nourish the hearts of all who enter my home.
Our love is radiating from this photo. Can you feel it?
What matters most to me is I got my outcome at my gathering: each woman feel seen, nurtured, in-couraged, loved, and fully accepted…and I got my outcome! Tears flowed, wisdom shared, laughter heard, and breakthrough received.
My preparation started in me…I prepared by seeing me, nurturing me, in-couraging me, loving me, and accepting me and my space just exactly the way I am.
In the end, I let those things I judged at first as “imperfect” about my home be ok, and I made my new choice to let them be the container and the vehicle for the atmosphere of love and acceptance to nourish the hearts of all who came into my home.
Does this resonate with you? How have you been challenged by your own ideas of what “perfect” is? Do you have any tips to share? Please share them in the comments or email me: heather@untethered.life.
I love seeing you victorious in all your miracles - how can I pray for you today?
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