Emotions. Do you stuff them?

Swallow hard. Clench your jaw.  Hold back the tears.

Breathe in deep. Inhale…exhale…hold it all in.

Silence. Throat tightened. Bite your tongue.

Just a few of the ways you may be stuffing your emotions, saving them away for another day. There's no harm in a momentary pause in emotion in order to process it in an appropriate time.  The problem for most of us is that time never comes, and emotions get stacked like sardines in the back of our minds and the memories imprinted on our bodies like a record to be replayed again and again.

Later, maybe a day or a week or a few months, perhaps a few years even, something happens to recreate the feeling you had before, the time you stuffed it to take care of another day or hoping it would just go away.  But it didn't.  It just got stored in your body, waiting for its turn to come out and play.  Except an emotion that's been in a closet doesn't play nice anymore, especially since it's been ruminating around with all of the other emotions it found hidden away.

These emotions start to swap stories.  They have ways of organizing themselves with their narratives, each telling more embellished than the last. Sometimes they try to one up each other, there in the recesses of your subconscious mind, replaying over and over and over again their moments of pain and sorrow, fear and regret, shame and guilt…vying for their place in line at the closet door.

Finally, that closet door has so much pressure behind it….all of these emotions vying for their place in line, pushing and shoving, getting louder and louder, more boisterous…more angry.

Until something small happens in your day. It could be you got cut off in traffic. Or perhaps someone was short with you and said something unkind. Maybe your kids left their shoes out one too many times or your husband forgot the most important item on the grocery list. 

Those emotions, they have been waiting.  It's getting hot in that closet and they are tired of being silenced.  Plus, there simply is no more room.

You go to stuff that emotion away only to find a rush of feelings flooding your body, and you react…or, rather, you over react to that situation that just happened.  In your mind, you begin to justify and maybe even blame someone current…"Well if you would have only…if they wouldn't have done…if there had only been…" as you struggle to get those uncomfortable feelings under control and back in the closet and hope no one has noticed the mess that just spilled out.

Has this ever happened to you?

Depending on your mode of operating, after an episode like this you may then add another layer of locks on that closet door, locks like guilt and shame or anger and rage. You want to protect that door at whatever cost because you do not want to ever feel that way again.

The problem is, you will.

You have effectively just told your body to store them for another day because they are just too much or too hard or too painful or too….well, you know, messy.  Emotions are messy.

Yes, yes, they are.  But emotions stuffed are way messier and more toxic to you, your body, your spirit, and your loved ones than you can imagine.  And also easier to process than you've been led to believe.

Next….Emotions. Can they make you sick?

ANNOUNCEMENT: Early Bird Discount for in-person AFT Certification Course!

Early Bird Discount through May 5th!

Find a group of 4 friends, send the names and emails of your group of 4 to connect@untethered.life, and receive a discount code for 20% off regular tuition for the in-person, intensive Aroma Freedom Technique certification course coming to Dallas, TX, May 19-20th.

This innovative approach to eliminating negative beliefs, limiting mindsets, and releasing challenging emotions is changing lives and helping people on their paths towards reaching their heart's desires.

Must register your group of four by May 5th to receive discount.  In addition, register by May 1st to receive a hard copy of The Aroma Freedom Technique book by Dr. Perkus and an AFT sampler oil kit (this offer also available for single registrants).  

How the Aroma Freedom Technique has changed my life

Happiness isn’t a goal in and of itself; it is a side-effect of doing what you are meant to do in this life.
— Dr. Benjamin Perkus, author and founder of the Aroma Freedom Technique

It was a rather random happening. I opened an email with information about a free opportunity buried in amongst other posts: a free month of weekly calls about the Aroma Freedom Technique. Inexplicably, something immediately grabbed my intention and pulled me in.  I found the link to sign up and set a reminder on my phone.

That Friday, I logged into Zoom and found a group of people being instructed by Dr. Benjamin Perkus on the ins and outs of the Aroma Freedom Technique (AFT) and the ways people were being impacted.  He shared about classes and certifications he would be offering and then encouraged us to all grab our oils for a clearing using AFT.

I don't know what specifically it was about that first call, but I knew that I was hooked.  I was drawn to the method, intrigued by the immediate results, and had an instant connection with this community of people who were "practicing AFT." 

That was a Friday.  On Monday the certification class would be starting, and Dr. Perkus requested sign ups be in by Saturday.

It didn't make sense in a logical way…Where would the money come from? What exactly would I be able to do once I got certified? And who, exactly, was this Dr. Perkus? I wasn't entirely sure, but I knew that God was opening up a path before me. The choice was mine. Would I trust Him?

After much going back and forth (self-doubt and money worries hinder me the most, y'all), I decided that the voice inside my head was most probably God and I could trust Him with this step of faith.  Truthfully, the worst that could happen was minor...I'd be out some money and some time. It would be ok either way.

Monday dawned bright and early, and I jumped on the zoom call and away I went.  Dr. Perkus was kind and engaging.  The more I listened, the more I knew that this was where I was meant to be.

Then another opportunity opened up to do level 1 AND level 2 concurrently.  Again, I felt that irresistible draw in my spirit to take this "quantum leap." I hemmed and hawed again, self-doubt and money worries vying for a say.  I listened some to those voices, how I could delay and wait to do level 2 another day…but there was just something about that moment in time that said: "this is it…this is the pathway to open up your passion…just do it!"

So I did.  I jumped in and quickly felt over my head but I popped up soon and paddled my way to increasing my clarity and confidence with each AFT clearing and class interaction, my strokes getting stronger with each session.  I've not looked back since except to admire the view from here, to see how far I've come in such a short amount of time.

How has AFT changed my life? Here are just a few of the gifts that are now mine because I said "yes":

  • A broadened circle of friends and like-minded practitioners.  My AFT buddy I met in my level 1 class and I still meet regularly for accountability and support. I have a growing network of support that undergirds my work on several levels, but most importantly my AFT practice and my Young Living business.
  • A greater sense of purpose and direction. I have a structure within which my passion for helping people get free of what is holding them back can flow unhindered while sharing my love for essential oils.  It's glorious!
  • A way to share about Young Living Essential Oils compliantly. Who doesn't like a new way to share and build your Young Living business? Watch people's eyes light up as you help lighten their load as peace increases in their hearts while sharing your amazing oils.
  • A tool that has immediate results.  It doesn't take much time to show people how quickly they can experience a shift in their mental state and have more hope to reach the goals and dreams that before seemed so elusive. 
  • A method that works for groups of individuals. I put my certification to work immediately, helping oily and non-oily people, privately and in groups.  I've more than made back my certification costs.
  • A gift that just keeps on giving. Not only am I able to bless others, but I, myself, am daily blessed by the Aroma Freedom Technique and the practice I'm working into my life of clearing the blocks instead of staying stuck and stagnate.  I don't have any excuses anymore!  I can confidently take myself through AFT (or reach out to another AFT practitioner) and know that whatever has held me back in the past, doesn't stand a chance now!
  • A spiritual support.  This is, perhaps, the most valuable gift thus far.  Scripture says to make every effort to add to our faith goodness, knowledge, self-control, perseverance, godliness, mutual affection, and love*. I'm finding this modality is increasing my ability to produce fruit in keeping with repentance [getting new thoughts].** I'm finding that belief is rising and love is increasing.  I am more confident about being who God has created me to be and in helping others to throw off everything that is entangling them*** so they can run their race full of love, peace, and joy.

Want to explore the Aroma Freedom Technique with me?  May 19-20 in Dallas, Texas, I'll be holding an intensive 2-Day Aroma Freedom Technique Level 1 Certification.  I'd love for you to join me!  Sign up by May 1st and receive The Aroma Freedom Technique Quick Guide and an AFT sampler oil kit at the class.  Questions? Send me an email: connect@untethered.life.  Ready to join the #aftrevoilution? Click the link to register today!

Read testimonials here

*1 Peter 1:5-12  "For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; 6 and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; 7 and to godliness, mutual affection; and to mutual affection, love. 8 For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. 9 But whoever does not have them is nearsighted and blind, forgetting that they have been cleansed from their past sins. 10 Therefore, my brothers and sisters,[a] make every effort to confirm your calling and election. For if you do these things, you will never stumble, 11 and you will receive a rich welcome into the kingdom of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ."

**Heb 12:1-2 Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, 2 fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. 

***Matthew 3:8 Produce fruit in keeping with repentance

How I'm ditching my 5 a.m. wake up call for something better

Isaiah 49:23b, 25b "Then you will know that I am the Lord; those who hope in me will not be disappointed…I will contend with those who contend with you, and your children I will save."

It's a subtle, slight slip into rational and reasonable responsibility that leads to fearful fretting and anxious alliterations and thoughts tripped up in thinking that in the end, it is all up to me which ends up making it all about me.

That's what gets me into trouble most mornings.  I wake and the thoughts come unbidden and instead of showing them the door like I know to do (surely, by now I know to do this…) I invite them in and sit them down for a discussion to see if I can figure out this puzzle of where things went wrong and what I can do to fix them by replaying past events and thinking how I could have done that differently.

The problem is, short of an ability to time-travel, there is absolutely nothing I can do to go back into the past as recent as 5 minutes ago and change anything.  I mean, if you figure that one out…can go back even 1 minute to change something you just did that you wish you didn’t do, please come see me.  I need what you got.

So, I'm sitting with these thoughts, and, in my defense, they do come knocking on my door around 5 a.m., usually a few minutes or an hour or two before I am even planning to get out of bed.  Why I don't get up every morning at 4 a.m. and beat these suckers out of bed, I don't know.  I actually did try that for a season, and it was helpful, but I also wasn't getting enough sleep because who can get into bed before midnight with fun-loving teenagers in the house?  (Whoever said I'd get more sleep when my children were older never had children because while I do get to sleep without outside interruption through the night, I have my thoughts on the front end and my children who I love connecting with late at night on the back end, so maybe I'll sleep when they are all grown…nah, probably not. By then there will be grandkids to love on.  This may be why I've taken up drinking coffee more than just socially.)

Back to the thoughts…I can hear them outside the door starting a little before 5.  I don’t even look at the clock anymore.  They come calling without fail.  No one told them that today is MLK day and that perhaps they should let me sleep in a bit.  They start out whispering and tapping lightly.  This only serves to wake other thoughts that had a restless night and were chomping at the bit to get some things discussed when I was awake.  So now the noise is getting louder.  Finally, a thought gets bold and knocks loudly and without waiting for me to open the door (aka wake up and get the tea/coffee going), they all come tumbling in talking loud and fast, vying to get my attention.

This used to throw me into high alert, nigh unto panic attack mode.  Thankfully, that is no more.  With time (going on 5 years to be exact), I have gotten more adept at sorting through the thoughts and discarding the majority of them.  Also, honestly, I've experienced a lot of healing in the past year and a half through many different modalities that Jesus has brought my way which have served to increase my awareness of patterns of thought and behaviors that no longer serve me and have given me tools to let those go and pick up new tools that lead to love, peace, and joy.

My word for 2017 is "delight," and I've come to realize that it's a challenge to experience "delight" when the 5 a.m. wake-up crew keeps barging in.  They are my thoughts, after all, and somehow I need to get their attention and let them know that when the door is still closed at 5 a.m., that means they need to go back to bed and read a book or something… until I at least am up and moving around and they see the light under the crack of the door.

This morning I actually woke first at 2:45.  I think the storms we had last night got my subconscious all in a dither because they were early.  I got up to pee and told them to go back to bed.  For once, they paid attention.  It was the dog that got me up at 5 today.  She's in heat and sleeps in a kennel in the house which means her routine is off and, thankfully, she barked to alert me that if I didn't get up and let her outside, she/we'd be in a world of stink.

After letting the dog out and getting some tea going, I sat down to read Isaiah 49, a passage rich with encouragement for me this morning, especially the last parts of verses 23 and 25: "Then you will know that I am the Lord; those who hope in me will not be disappointed…I will contend with those who contend with you, and your children I will save."

As the Spirit of God breathed revelation into my spirit, I found the response I've needed to these thoughts that bombard me morning by morning until I wrestle them to the ground at some point.  All of that wrestling takes energy, and it's time to direct that energy into more creative and life-giving endeavors.

Those mistakes and worries and fears and anxious ponderings that are so insistent that we need to talk and talk and figure all of the things out right this minute will now be met with these words: "Look, guys.  I appreciate you trying to bring these things to my attention.  I know that I have some part in making things work out, but right now, I'm choosing to trust God and put my hope in Him.  He's promised to contend with those who contend with me and to save my children (a lot of my worries have to do with them, and most (if not all) usually end up being completely unfounded)."

A lot of words for 5 a.m., so perhaps I'll just shorten it to: "I'm hoping in God.  Relax.  We won't be disappointed."

We will see how tomorrow morning goes. 


I am passionate about helping people to become all they are created to be, leaving behind old patterns of thinking, of eating, of feeling, to embrace the life they are meant to live. As a Certified Aroma Freedom Technique practitioner, I combine the power of Young Living essential oils with this powerful 12-step process that helps you be who God created you to be. I'd love to chat with you. Contact me at heather@untethered.life and check out my classes and AFT session availability at www.untethered.life/classes.