As I begin to write, the sun is transforming the sky out my window with brilliant pinks, oranges, and yellows. A flock of birds flies across the brightening sky as the bare trees form their unique silhouette against the ever-changing canvas.
It's been awhile since I've written here. Desire would come and then go before I could get out my laptop to begin to pen my thoughts. Or I'd click on my Facebook or email tab instead and quickly get pulled down into the wormhole of social media or my email abyss.
After meeting with my business coach Janet recently, she gently recommended I just start writing...not wait for it to be perfectly planned out...and to let you in on this process I am in to find a routine and a rhythm for this new season.
My children are older and no longer require me in the same ways they once did. There are no babies to nurse, no diapers to change, no toddlers to train, no little ones to snuggle and read to, no child struggling with reading or tying shoes or getting dressed, no curriculum to plan and execute...In the past, they were the primary reason I created a schedule. The structure helped us get through our day with a degree of sanity and cohesion, and my children liked to know what to expect and when they could get on the computer to play games or turn on the tv for a show.
Now that everyone is older...two have launched and are amazing adults, one has completed high school and is now working and discovering what her next steps are, and the other three that I am technically still homeschooling and training up have taken ownership of most of their own education and schedule as they prepare to enter adulthood sooner rather than later. I still keep them on track for their chores and meal responsibilities and answer questions about schedules and rides and food and essential oils and life, but I do not have the same role in their lives that I once had and operate much more as a loose facilitator and gentle guide and I allow them to choose their rhythm and routine for the studies which they are doing almost 100% on their own. Even my 12 year old!
I know many moms have gone before me on this journey. The role of mom is so varied and I must navigate so many different facets of each personality and preference and purpose and somehow hold the balance as they get older of when to step in and when to stay back and when to reach out and when to stay quiet...It's not like a job that I learn and then have down pat...especially now that I have adults and kids still at home...all with differing "mom-needs" (or non-needs as the case may be).
Today I got up at 5 a.m. It's different than the 5 a.m. I used to get up for...to beat the kids out of bed so I could have some peace and quiet before the day got started. It is definitely still quiet at 5 a.m. but now it's more about finding my sweet spot for getting done what is most important to me.
Typically I rise, pee, and meditate. Within that routine I make my hot green tea, journal, and read my Bible. In talking to Janet and expressing my challenge with routine once the house wakes up, she gently suggested I try adding on my blog writing to my morning ritual. I am already up and going...let that be part of the morning "liturgy".
So here is my first go at my new goal of consistently writing. It's not about doing it perfectly...it's about entering in and taking "massive imperfect action" which requires me to hit publish every day whether the words feel deeply inspired or simply are an exercise in being consistent.
Thank you for joining me on this journey.